How a Grandmother's Deep Empathy Teaches Us to Celebrate Life

The topic of death has always been part of my daily life, starting at a very young age. It wasn’t until I became an adult that I learnedhow uncomfortable the subject can be for some people. When I met adults who had never seen a dead body, I realized just how different my upbringing had been.

My grandmother was a historian and genealogist, so sharing stories about the deceased was normal for us. I spent my childhood sitting beside her as she traced our family lineage back to the year 190 A.D. This took her 30 years to complete this work, and I was only there for the last five or so. Occasionally, she’d share fascinating stories about those who came before us, and sometimes those stories would lead to trips to the cemetery. We’d find the headstone, clean it off, pull overgrown weeds, and leave flowers. This was my introduction to death and the idea that people we’ve lost should always be remembered and cared for. I still find these memories incredibly beautiful.

Together, we’d attend funerals, and at the time, I thought these were people my grandmother had strong relationships with. I knew she was well-known in the community, so it didn’t seem far-fetched to think she knew this many people. But shortly after my grandmother passed away; while going through her belongings, I found a drawer full of funeral programs. That’s when my family explained that she didn’t actually know some of the people she attended funerals for.

As I reflected, memories of the funerals we had attended flooded back. We’d always sit in the back of the church, and sometimes no one would talk to my grandmother. Suddenly, the puzzle pieces started falling into place. My heart swelled, and I began to cry. My grandmother was unique, yes, and absolutely beautiful with her soft heart and deep empathy. Although I never had the chance to ask her why, I’m pretty sure I know the answer: She wanted to pay her respects by taking the time to learn about each person’s life story.

Everyone has a story that is not only worth telling but alsoworthy of being heard. This is something I learned from my grandmother and havesince passed on to my own children. Now, when we travel as a family, they askhow close the cemetery is. It goes without saying that it’s always withinwalking distance.

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